tips for becoming a good member of a society

by **_!c4n4!_** 17/11/2012, 7:56 am

Being a good member of society remains a work in progress from childhood through old age. As we go from experience to experience, our character and integrity is tested in real life situations. It’s not like we have an abstract ideal in front of us that we are trying to reach; we’re just trying to get through life’s events with enough dignity and self-worth to be an asset to our communities instead of a liability. We even recognize when someone’s going about it all wrong – like the peace activist who yells at a driver for taking a coveted parking space, or the nature lover who climbs over the fences protecting the sand dunes to get a photograph.

Someone who is paying no attention at all to being a good member of society may, like the devil himself, enjoy doing bad things instead of good things. Most of us do a devilish thing now and then; that’s part of being human. But doing bad things day after day – the road rage and other forms of belligerence, the time spent on personal matters while at work, the lying and cheating that we tolerate and excuse – those patterns of behavior can come to dominate a personality. The over-inflated concept of the self is crowding out the concept of a social order. If you constantly need to let others see how tough or deceitful you can be, the world will think you’re a stinker, and probably up to something illegal.

Have you ever met a person who is working so hard to create an image of pure goodness she can’t admit to any faults? We call her “goody two-shoes” and look for someone else to party with because it’s no fun being around people who are busy being good citizens all of the time. We seem to think that celebrities are such good members of society they can do no wrong, and then we pay millions of dollars for the media stories confirming that they, too, have foibles and feet of clay. Good people have flaws. Being a good member of society means admitting (even if just to ourselves) when and where our character needs a little strengthening and being willing to do that work.

Being a good member of society also means being able to see the good in others, even when they evoke anger, irritation, or disgust. Most of the people in our lives have at least one specific quality we can admire and respect.